So far, I think the best I can hope for at this point is to get through the next 72 hours without losing my temper or having assault charges against me.

Our Christmas is always somewhat bittersweet. We have, um, issues in our family. What family doesn't? It just seems that all those carefully bundled up skeletons come knocking at the closet door at this time of year.

Usually, I like to spend the week before the Main Event relaxing and having a sort of me time. My friends and I always get together on Yule, or December 21 and it's always a happy time. But this year was different. I haven't had a chance to recharge my batteries yet and am still feeling a bit on the yucky side.

It doesn't help that my Mom has been calling me every, oh, 45 minutes to see if I'm still breathing. If I don't immediately say "I'm fine", she's calling the ambulance. I had a little complication this week where I ended up with a hematoma at the site of where they took blood. I swear that nurse stuck the needle in and then ripped it to the left. All week, my elbow has been turning black and I was having a lot of trouble driving, or doing anything at all with my left arm (and I'm left handed). That bothered my Mom and it was all I could do to fend her off for me going back to the doctor about it. It's a bruise, I'll live!

So this morning arrived. I had a terrible night's sleep. Dreamt my Dad had died in a casino. Kinda freaked me out. When I called Mom this morning, she sounded off. Now it seems she's already started crying. Just great....this should be a fantastic holiday.

Turns out it was about my esteemed brother, Ray. For years wanted nothing to do with his family, mostly because he's an idiot and his wife is an evil incarnate who has p-whipped him for years. He spent a lot of time telling my parents how much he hated them for not being good parents - apparently he was raised by different people than I was. It got to the point that my Dad got so hurt that he decided to 'disown' him. But now that he's in his 40's and his kids are nearly grown, he's suddenly realized he's screwed up. Usually it comes out around the holidays. This morning, he called to ask my parents to visit this afternoon. My Mom had to say no because there would be no way in hell that my Dad would go. So instead, she's been crying ever since. I don't think Ray has any clue how much he hurts them on a regular basis, or even the fact that they're now in their mid-70's and both aren't in the best health anymore. If he tried this reconciliation crap during another time of the year, I'm sure he'd be left with better results. Now everyone's all got their knickers in a twist and we haven't really even begun yet.

I'm off in about 10 minutes for the first volley of the season. To my brother Bob's for a quick visit and gift drop-off ceremony. (Also leaving Ray's stuff there too) and then it is the main event as far as I want. Tonight we're having Christmas with Hayley. That's about the only thing that's going to salvage this holiday.

My Mom is also upset because I'm not staying at her house tonight. I just can't. I feel like crap and I am not sleeping well. I would rather pace the floors in my own home rather than somewhere else.

To top it off, Todd is really down. He chose not to return to his home during the holidays and is staying at the base. He figured it would be too hurtful to Bethany and since he had nowhere really to stay (that is a story in itself!), he thought it wasn't worth going. Great idea but now everyone else is gone and he's all depressed and bored. Last night he was so sad, and I just couldn't seem to get him to calm down no matter what I said. I said I'd call him tonight again, and that seemed to lift his spirits, but I guess it's just all too real for him now.

Let's just hope my Grinchiness clears and I can at least sort of enjoy this time. It just is too much hassle and stress! Anyway, Merry Christmas to all! Hope you all enjoy your holiday!