I've decided for my own peace of mind, I need to vent about my latest excursion into medical hell. My brain is screaming NO!, NO! because usually it would be preferable to block it out and move on. I'll try to be somewhat discrete but the fact remains what's causing me difficulty is to do with some of our more delicate functions, so beware.

Let me first say something rather traitorous. I thought many times over the last day or so that I wished I was in the US as I probably would have been treated properly. Our medical system is a farce. It has been ruined by budget-conscious government officials, who obviously have never had to deal with anyone close to them being truly ill. Then again, even if they did, they'd probably get different care because of their position.

On Monday, I had that stone incident. Tuesday, I felt like I'd been beaten, but Wednesday and Thursday I was more or less fine, but tired. Very tired. And working a lot as we attempted to close the office down for 2 weeks.

On Thursday night, I left work late and hit a traffic jam that made my commute 2 1/2 hours rather than the usual 1. By the time, I got home at 8:30, I was the walking dead. I fell asleep shortly after. At 2am, I woke up in dire pain. Cramps, a whole world of hurt. I had to sprint to the bathroom, where I spent the next hour and 15 minutes alternating between vomitting and 'having bowel issues'. It hurt immensely. To top it off, I was aware that there was some serious pain in my lower back/kidneys but I was a little busy with the other stuff.

I woke up at 6:30, feeling very rough, shaky and done over. I began to throw up, etc., again, but I sucked it up, took a gravol and immodium and went to work. I don't have a sympathetic work group and I knew this close to Christmas, and with my boss away, it would be viewed dimly. I started popping the Tylenol #3 by about 9:30. My kidneys were on fire, and I felt so nauseated. Somehow I made it to a meeting at 1:00 but I knew I was in serious trouble by this point. I was starting to bargain with myself that maybe I should go back to the doctor and for me to admit this, was a sign in itself. At the 1:00 meeting, I could barely focus on what everyone was saying. I had to tell myself not to throw up on the table and was mostly quiet during the hour. As the meeting concluded, I said quietly to one of the other girls that I thought I was passing another kidney stone and apologized for not being myself. She seemed shocked I was still on my feet.

I got back to my desk, called the doctor and the next available appointment was 4:10. It was now 2:30 and that next hour seemed like an eternity. I started to cry. I am not a cryer, nor very dramatic so I knew if I couldn't control my emotions I was in trouble. My coworkers asked if I could come help them with the year-end boxing of the files and I said no. They probably think I'm a cow, but in all honesty, I couldn't stand up! I called my Mom, and she told me to get to her house immediately. Do not pass go. Leave. And she did so in that 'Mom' voice that you do not dare argue with. I turned off my computer and got up to leave, only to be doubled over by such intense pain I nearly puked right there in my cublicle.

I went over to Junior, our lead when my boss is away, and I was crying pretty hard. He tried to forbid me from driving but I wouldn't listen. I know he was being kind, but I couldn't think straight anymore and just had to get home if it was the last thing I did.

I drove the 45 min. to my parent's. There were times that I had to hang my head out the window and even talk out loud to myself to keep from vomitting or even passing out. Yes, I really should not have been behind the wheel, and there is no excuse for what I did. Thankfully, I did arrive at my parent's place safely. All I could say at this point was "It hurts. It hurts so much."

My dad drove me to the doctor. I somehow got upstairs to her office where the nurse triaged me in a room immediately. My doctor came in, started her examination and looked very worried. She told me she thought that I was possibly experiencing a ruptured gallbladder or something as serious and that I needed to be hospitalized immediately. She explained that any emergency surgery would be quick and minimal recovery time. She left the room to make arrangements at the hospital across the street. At this point, I started to shake a lot. Probably shock, in retrospect. And I was still vomitting. Of course, I hadn't eaten now in 24 hours so what was coming up was no longer food.

When my doctor returned, she was very upset. The hospital doctor had refused my admittance as they were overwhelmed. If I was to go to the hospital, I would be looking at a 6-8 hour waiting period before even being seen. She decided to give me enough Demerol and Gravol to knock me out, have my Dad drive me home and hopefully, by the time it had worn off, the hospital would be quieter and I would be seen. So she gave me 150mg of Demerol by injection and sent me for some blood tests so that when I eventually did go to the hospital, I would be taken care of quicker. I am very grateful for my doctor, and I know that honestly if she knew the aftermath of this, she would be sorely shocked and very upset with my treatment and lack thereof.

With the Demerol in me, I had a brief moment of euphoria while getting home, and decided to go straight to bed and sleep it off. I wasn't really hurting too much (although it was still there) and I just fell into my bed. It was now 5:30. I didn't sleep, though. By 6:40, it was obvious the Demerol didn't help. The pain was back with a vengance and now I was vomitting blood. Dark blood too, so I know that it was serious.

I called my parents and said I needed to go to the hospital now. It was beyond anything I had ever experienced and I knew I needed serious help. I have to say though, that I pride myself as a pretty tough cookie and I don't usually admit to this so the fact alone that I was at that point was pretty scary.

Part Two on it's way...just gotta go fill the water bottle here.