May 29, 2005
Makes me miss him more....

The words to Toby Keith's 'American Soldier' seem to come to mind when I look at this pic. It's Todd's latest little gift to my inbox.

He was so proud of it. Waking me up at 3 this morning and telling me he had just sent a new picture he wanted me to see and then realizing the time, regretted his call and told me to stay in bed. Too bad - I was already awake.

The new base is working out well. There's a much higher morale and the people are a great team. Coming from a completely opposite situation, it's been a breath of fresh air and I can hear him getting back to himself with every phonecall.

'cept now I'm missing him more than ever. I heard from another friend in his battalion that he's getting early demob for July 4. Meanwhile Todd did not get that, and it looks like it will still be a long while until I can start counting down.

It's funny. I am feeling so melancholy today. I was waiting so long for someone in my life and before I met Todd, I thought that having someone in my life was not for me. I was ok being single and even liked it. Then 10 months ago, I met him and in the 5 days that ensued, I knew my world was rocked. For those 5 days, I remembered what it was like to have someone at my side. It was perfection. When we parted, it was one of the top emotional moments of my life and I will never ever forget the look on his face as he stood on the other side of the closing elevator doors. That is the last time I saw him.

Since then, we have spoken almost daily. It's at least a couple hundred phonecalls. All long distance and now since he's over 'there', all on his dime. Not much I can do about that, though.

Life is strange. I feel more alone now than I ever did in my 3+ years of singledom previous to this. I feel like my other half has been ripped away and I didn't even know I had another half. The hardest is many people's reactions. It's hard for people to seem to understand, given our unique relationship and situation, that it could actually be real. Hell, I know it's an odd situation and I probably would have my reservations too, hearing the story, but what I do know is that I have found someone who completes me. I have waited for far too long for that, and I will do whatever it takes to make that work.

Vancouver, British Columbia
A patriotic Canadian full of visions of a better Canada, random thoughts and a lot of hot air. Who am I? A struggling writer and photographer, who looks forward to a better Canada. I read. A lot. I learn. A lot. I push myself. A lot. The world is a small place, and getting smaller every day. I'm proud to have friends in every corner of the earth, and abide by the old adage that there are no strangers, only friends we haven't met yet.
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Turning thirty and a half
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