January 21, 2005
On The Bench
Ahhh...Friday night. I'm gonna take it as a compliment that the office was a freakin' mess when I returned today. Job security, if they can't do without me for two days, right? Hope so. We had a nice little memo in our inboxes this morning that layoffs are expected in the next month. Oh joy! Well, of course the term is "overall headcount reduction", actually but I digress. I think I'm safe...pretty sure anyhow. I've got a pretty little niche built for myself and have proved it a couple times over the last couple months. Of course, it still kinda niggles. Not that I can do anything about it at all. The thing is I've seen layoffs before, and most people I know ended up calling it a blessing in disguise.

So had a nice little offer from the vets today. Molly goes to daycare every day. Yeah, it's extravagant but anyone who lives with a border collie knows that the $10 a day it costs me is getting off cheap not to have a frenzied ball of energy to come home to every night. It's at a vet's and considering she's as accident prone as her human mother, it comes in handy. Anyway, ya go there every day...you end up getting friendly with the staff. Today, I made it through work but I was a little worse for the wear when I picked the furkid up. The vet assistant took one look at me and asked if I'd like to be euthanized, no charge of course! "Come on, we got it all hooked up in the back, you'll be feeling nothing in no time!" Damn near took her up on it!

The thing that's eating me tonight is that I'm on the bench. Again. I really want to have a social life. I really do. But time and time again, I just am so DONE by the time I get home that I just can't. This whole pneumokidneycrapola-itis just completely sucks and I had to turn down a really wonderful offer to go up to the casino with friends tonight. They understand. They know I'm with them in spirit, but hell, I am disappointed! It's just times like these that I really appreciate the friends who have not fairweathered during this latest health stretch. Sadly, I've lost contact with at least two since I got sick. Granted, it's obvious they weren't all that anyway, but it's just pissy. A real kick in the back. Ok, enough down and out crap....doesn't do any good anyhow so let's talk lighter stuff.

I got my new Ebay purchase today. They are my new bestest, most favorite-ist pair! I just love shoes. It's almost an obsession. And I just recently found GothamOnline on Ebay. Cheap, cheap and so quick! Damn, and now I'm shopping again.

This whole moratorium on shopaholicism lasted, oh, 3 days. But I've been sick, dammit! I deserve it! [foot stomp]

And on another note, my Mom is having another episode of control freak from hell. She gets worse when I'm down and for each day I'm sick, it's like she regressed me one year. I think I'm about -7 at the moment. First, there's the calling. Every 45 minutes. If I don't answer, it's the cell phone. You get the idea. Today, she and my Dad decided to come over and "clean up a bit" for me. Nice, huh? Yeah, no....parent people! I am an adult! If I want dirty dishes in the sink, they're MY dirty dishes. I like dust! I was reading those damned magazines, thank you very much. But the piece d'resistance? I just got a call from her asking how many biscuits I gave the dog last night. Um, no freakin'clue, why? Well, she looked in the biscuit container and it seemed way lower. And apparently, that's no good....blah blah blah. Argh. It never ends. My dog. If I want her fat, and rolling from one room to the next, my problem! Just because I live on my own, it's like I somehow never aged in her eyes. Didn't do the walk down the aisle, so I must be incapable of looking after myself. Some days, I really have to grit my teeth not to rip into her. But there's no point. It only hurts her and well, there will be a day that I will wish I could hear her voice. Life is short, and getting shorter every day.

Back to shoe shopping, I think. It's a happier place!

Vancouver, British Columbia
A patriotic Canadian full of visions of a better Canada, random thoughts and a lot of hot air. Who am I? A struggling writer and photographer, who looks forward to a better Canada. I read. A lot. I learn. A lot. I push myself. A lot. The world is a small place, and getting smaller every day. I'm proud to have friends in every corner of the earth, and abide by the old adage that there are no strangers, only friends we haven't met yet.

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