My company is putting on a golf tournament for the office staff next weekend. They have been such a great place, and have practically insisted I join them...even if I am only on contract.

But...I have never even held a golf club, let alone swung one. Thankfully, I'm not the only one, so a couple of the guys took us to the driving range the other day to give us some pointers.

First problem encountered. I am left handed. Even though I valiantly tried to learn on right-handed clubs, it was not meant to be. This is one sport you can't (or at least I can't) be ambidextrous.

So I line up, bend my legs like I'm trying to sit on a chair, back at a straight angle and pull back to swing.

Second problem encountered. This has since become known as the Jessica-Simpson syndrome. Not that I'm anorexic like her, but well, I do have the front appendages. Golf is not friendly to the more curvy female form. Apparently, ol' Jessica made mention of the problem on her show.

I tried to follow through. But was seriously impeded. Since then, I've become the butt of a few lighthearted jokes at work, nothing serious but it would seem my teammates are now more concerned with me bringing the beer and driving the golf cart. That, I should be able to do.

I've been sort of watching the golf stuff on TV, and it does seem the women are a lot less busty, and in mentioning it, it seems to be the thing they don't tell you about golf. Must say, no one ever mentioned it to me.

But I have to admit, it was fun to get out some frustrations on some dimply little balls. Even if I did better rolling them along like mini-bowling balls, it was pretty entertaining.

Next week, us newbies are going out a couple more times to try and practice. Believe me, we need it!