Ah, youth. =)
Speaking of which, my niece is cooking up her second baby now. Shan had her first, Hayley nearly 3 years ago at the tender age of 19. Now, at 22, she and her husband will have their son in early January.
It's been an amazing stretch, full of so much drama and turmoil, you'd think we were all living a Hallmark Sunday night movie.
Shannon was one of the kids who knew everything from Day 1. She didn't like being told what to do, and thought she was always one step up from everyone else. She met Tom when she was 15 and would have run away with him then. But her parents made her a deal. Tom could live with them (in a separate bedroom, though!) and in return, she had to finish high school. So the next 2 1/2 years went relatively smoothly until she graduated. A week after that, she and Tom decided to conquer the world and took off to the next province. No jobs, no money, no brains, just their love. At the time, she said her theme song was Bon Jovi's "Living on a Prayer".
It broke her parents' heart, and none of us felt all that pleased at the time. But she and I bonded much more over that time than I could have ever hoped. I always been close to her, from the time she was born when I was 12. She was the little sister I never had. As she grew up, I was the one she confided in, the one she came to when she was in trouble, whatever was needed. So when they moved to Alberta, I missed her terribly.
They moved into a house with 11 other people. Some were Tom's family. Some who knows? I'd use the term flop house, but it's got such negative connotations. Ah, what the hell...it was a flop house. Shannon and Tom moved into the storm cellar, the only unoccupied room.
Then in the summer of '01, she phoned up crying. I flew her home on the next flight. But something was different about her. I swore she was pregnant but thought 'Naaaaah'. As it would turn out, I wasn't wrong but she was only about 4 weeks at the time. She says lucky guess. I say psychic bonding. Po-tay-to, Po-tah-to.
She went back. The living conditions weren't great but what can you do with a strong-willed teenager who would rather gnaw her arm off before admitting things weren't perfect. When she got too big to fit through the trap door of the storm shelter, she and Tom traded with some of the others in the house for a room. Her mother and I went out to visit her when she was about 7 months along. Her mom cried the entire time. I tend to keep that side of me a little more silent, and went about the business of befriending the rest of the housemates. It worked. Not only was Shannon still confiding in me, I now knew I could count on the rest of them to make sure she was ok.
In February, the baby was ready to arrive. She went into labour around 3am on February 22. Her parents, her sister and I got into the car and began driving to be by her side. This is a story in itself, but in a nutshell, we soft Vancouverites forgot what winter means to the rest of Canada. We anticipated a 10 hour journey (which it is in the summer time). It ended up being a harrowing 22 hour trip through mudslides, avalanches and whiteouts. Thank "insert deity here"
Of course, her sister had a different response. My younger, much more sarcastic niece's first words to her big sis on becoming a mom was 'Gee, Shan, how does it feel to be a teenage statistic?' Ah, sisters..you can't live with them. Ya can't kill 'em.
We stayed in town for a few days while Shannon settled. Her parents and sister went to visit friends while I stayed with Shan. That night was a tough one. Shan was having some serious difficulties with pain (let's just say nipple piercings should be done by a professional, not a boyfriend, or you'll have hell to pay when your milk comes in). I went to be with her and it was another lifetime moment. With one hand, I'm cuddling the baby and with the other, reading the manual ('The Mother of all Babybooks'). And Shan's curled up with her head in my lap. I never felt more at peace than I did at that moment. We have since come to refer to it as 'That Night'.
Fast forward over the next year or so...I ended up flying out to be with them every 3 months or so. And yes, my life did change. I have no idea if I will ever have kids, or if I will even be able to. Hayley is my bridge to that. I look in her eyes and I'm golden. But Shannon and Tom's life was none too shiny. Tom worked only sporadically and Shannon not at all. They got married when Hayley was 6 months in a backyard wedding that could only be described as Trailer Park Boys meet The Trashy Girls. There was more backcombed hair and beer-fueled bravado than I have ever seen, but it was one hell of a party!
When Hayley turned a year old, it was a bittersweet trip. Shan and Tom were in a bad way. Money was non-existent (even though her parents and I had been seriously subsidizing). They were proud, but it wasn't enough. The place they were living in was not suitable for a baby, and now that Hayley was walking around, I couldn't bear for that kid to grow up in squallor. I am usually not a judgemental person, but it was beyond description. I told them they had to come home. They were a family and it wasn't about them anymore.
My brother and his wife decided to buy a new house with a basement suite. The caveat though was that it wouldn't be built for a year. The kids intended to stay there until closer to the time the new house was ready, but things took a turn for the worse. During a drunken fight, one of the housemates stabbed the other and in the melee, Tom also got injured. (Told ya drama finds us!) It was a jolt to their senses, and they made the trip back home.
This past year, while the place was being built, they've rotated between living at my place and at my brothers. And now that the place is built, Shan and Tom are finally living on their own (more or less) and beginning their life together properly.
Hayley is a witty little 2 1/2 year old. Already potty trained and smart as a...a....really smart thing. Not that I'm biased or anything. And now #2 is baking, and due to debut January 12-ish. Hayley's named the baby Skizzy. Not quite sure where she got that from. Shan, Tom Shan's mom and I know it's a boy but no one else in the family wanted to know just yet. I'm happy for them though.
But I'm also really excited. Shan asked me the other day to be there for the birth. I wasn't sure about it. I mean, it's a pretty personal experience. But she has insisted. She said she gets strength from my strength and besides her husband, she couldn't imagine doing it without me there. Damn it if it didn't get a little dusty in here...damned allergies.....
