September 22, 2005
Turning 30 and 3/5ths
(Last year's was a shopping bag to um, celebrate my shopaholic tendancies. And of course, my nickname owed to my photographic endeavours).

Thank you so much for your kind birthday wishes!

Ok, still gonna milk it. I liked being 30 and a half. 35 scared me. 35 was when, if you're a single woman, everything starts rotting and dying off inside you. Have you read the small print of certain prescription products? 'Women over 35 at risk...'... to completely explode when they take this pill.

So last year, as I approached 35, I did it kicking and screaming. Hence, I decided to turn 30 1/2 instead. Much less assuming.

In the last 365 days, it has been a challenging time to say the least. Worst year? No, not at all but definitely up there on the negative side.

My health deterioriated. The pain is now a constant challenge. My struggle is not having it define me. Knowing that tomorrow might not be a better day, and a year from now might be even worse than I can even envision scares me, but I chose not to let it get me down. Many people live with chronic pain, and I will find that place soon that will allow me to as well.

I lost my job to restructuring after 10 years (well, 9.38 years but who's counting?). But it was a blessing. I needed a change, and I needed to be able to look after me. I decided that I was financially stable enough that I could take a contract job and just temp for a while until I found myself in a healthier situation. It may or may not have been a good decision but I'm still fine with it.

Of course, damaging my knee to the point I am not able to walk well definitely threw a wrench into that. Summer? What summer? Oh, the warmth I could feel from outside my windows while sitting on my couch.

My family struggled with health. My brother had his heart attack in March, my Aunt a stroke last December and my Mom's emphysema has worsened significantly. It has made me much more appreciative of every moment I can spend with them.

And lastly, the man who I stood beside for 13 months didn't turn out to be the person I believed him to be. I'm certainly not the first nor the last person who had someone deceive them, and as I said to him in my last communication, I have no regrets. I went into this with an open mind, and open heart. I chose to try to continue once he was deployed to Iraq and I don't regret that. I learned a lot through that experience. Much good came out of it and I only hope he finds whatever elusive happiness he is looking for, but it won't be with me.

Challenges, definitely. But looking back in time over the last few days, I couldn't help but think what a GOOD year it has been.

My grandnephew - Alexander James - came into our lives January 3. I didn't think I could love a child so completely as I loved his sister Hayley but was amazed at how my heart grew. That little boy is....well, perfect.

His sister, Hayley - while always a close bond to my heart has grown into the most amazing child. We talk on the phone now that she has learned to dial my phone number. Ok, just autodial but still. She makes me laugh all the time. Lately, it's because she thinks I work at Canadian Tire. And there is no chance of changing her mind on that.

Their mother, my niece grew into a good friend and not just a relation. I don't have sisters, and I often wished I had that close bond sisters do. I guess I got my wish to some degree. She's like my little sister now and I am thankful every day that my brother 'grew me a friend' in Shan.

My best friend got engaged to her perfect match. Their relationship is what gives me hope. What gives me belief that there IS such a thing as a great love story. When they get married next April, it will be my highest honour to stand beside them.

My friend Teresa came to visit in July from San Francisco. We had a fantastic weekend - whalewatching, dancing, sightseeing and even a little Bard on The Beach. Without a doubt, the best part of the summer!

I found my writing gene. I always loved to write, but this year it has taken off. And going to see Isabel Allende gave me the inspiriation to work towards that. I have many many stories floating around in my head, and struggle to get them out, but I now have the confidence to actually try. Blogging began in earnest last November, and as Devon mentioned, it stretches those writing muscles. I make no claims to the most interesting, or the most thought-provoking blog out there - but I enjoy what I do.

Through blogging, I have met such wonderful, strong, witty, amazing people. I had not anticipated that, but it was one of the best benefits. Some have even become people I consider true friends, and that is definitely a highlight of my year.

So I'm now 36. 30 and 3/5ths. Last year was my growing year, I think. This year, I have good feelings going into it. I know it's going to be a good one.

With that, I'm now out to enjoy the day. It's a beautiful one.

Vancouver, British Columbia
A patriotic Canadian full of visions of a better Canada, random thoughts and a lot of hot air. Who am I? A struggling writer and photographer, who looks forward to a better Canada. I read. A lot. I learn. A lot. I push myself. A lot. The world is a small place, and getting smaller every day. I'm proud to have friends in every corner of the earth, and abide by the old adage that there are no strangers, only friends we haven't met yet.
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Turning thirty and a half
  • July 2004
  • November 2004
  • December 2004
  • January 2005
  • February 2005
  • March 2005
  • April 2005
  • May 2005
  • June 2005
  • July 2005
  • August 2005
  • September 2005
  • October 2005
  • November 2005
  • December 2005
  • January 2006

  • The WeatherPixie