I'm a pretty upbeat person usually, and it takes a lot to get me down. But here I am...definitely feeling it tonight. I guess I'm due, really. Maybe it's just a case of de-stress and part of the whole healing process. Who knows?

Been spending the last few hours searching U.S. Military websites, care package sites and support forums. I guess I'm really feeling the alone-ness tonight. Damn. I thought I had it under control. Just when I think I'm so accepting of this, I start missing him and it just gets so strong. And I get so annoyed at myself for being weak.

I guess the whole Hallmark Holiday is bothering more than I thought it would. I have always hated the day. Even when I have been un-single, my significant others have never been much into celebrating it. I talk a good line about how much it annoys me that a day has become so commercialized and false, that any chance is overshadowed by a requirement and therefore, not heartfelt. Truth be known...I'm just envious. Not a feeling I let myself feel very often, that's for sure.

Had a post-op check yesterday and the doctor is pleased. Apparently the discomfort is normal, and should be this way for a few more days. What's annoying is that I can't seem to walk very far without a fair amount of pain. It's been absolutely gorgeous weather and I just can't seem to get outside.

Tomorrow...tomorrow is another day! Yeah, Scarlett, ya got something there.

update: Isn't it sad how a 3-minute phonecall can totally change things? The Dude finally got a chance to call and say hi. Hearing is voice is like a damned heroin fix! And he's promised to send me a video email....of course, I'll believe THAT one when I see it.