Turning 30 and a half: And oldie but a goodie

February 12, 2005

And oldie but a goodie

THINGS YOU'D LOVE TO SAY OUT LOUD AT WORK

I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
How about never? Is never good for you?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
I don't work here, I'm a consultant.
It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
Ahhh . . I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again,
I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn.
I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
Thank you. We're challenged by your unique point of view.
Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
What am I? Flypaper for freaks?
I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
Do I look like a people person?
This isn't an office, it's HELL with fluorescent lighting.
Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
If I throw a stick, will you leave?
Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
Chaos, panic, and disorder --- my work here is done.
Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
Oh I get it... like humor... but different.

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Sue
Vancouver, British Columbia
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A patriotic Canadian full of visions of a better Canada, random thoughts and a lot of hot air. Who am I? A struggling writer and photographer, who looks forward to a better Canada. I read. A lot. I learn. A lot. I push myself. A lot. The world is a small place, and getting smaller every day. I'm proud to have friends in every corner of the earth, and abide by the old adage that there are no strangers, only friends we haven't met yet.