Maybe it will one day, but for now I am still that giggling schoolgirl when Todd calls. Tonight was no exception.

You see, it's been a rough couple days as Stephie can attest to (thank you AGAIN for being my sounding block!). I had a bad phonecall last week when he was downright rude on the phone. He spent the entire call complaining about everything, and anything. Including me. That I spend too much on him. That I need to send different types of emails. Blahblahblah. I forget how men can be such dipsticks at times...it's been too long in the single world. (Sorry, guys reading this but the gals'll know what I mean)

Then I had this nasty and realistic dream the other night where he was telling his bunkmate he wanted to ditch me. I woke up so terribly sad! Why do I do this to myself?

So being wrapped up in the divadrama this week, I decided screw'im. I have a spine. I have intelligence. I refuse to be used! I just finished telling a friend at lunch today that I was going to lay down the law when he called, if he called.

Yeah, so what happened? I caved. I heard his voice tonight and my spine melted. The poor sweetheart has a viral infection but as any of the military folk know, you don't get time off unless you're dead so he's having a pretty rough time of it. It started last Friday (hence his a-hole attitude when he called) and has progressed to the point of painkillers and antibiotics administered today at the camp hospital. A'ight, I guess...

To top it off, our phonecall was difficult because the F-16's were flying low overhead and he had to stop the conversation half a dozen times when it got too loud. They had half a dozen mortar attacks today alone so things are crazy there. Hate to say it, but that kinda stuff just works for me. There's something about the whole being in the active duty world that makes me tingle. Yeah, that's shallow, I know, but whatever. A girl's gotta have somethin'.

So I got off the phone, gave myself a mental slap and got a little thankful for the fact that I'm still hearing twice a week. If he wasn't in this, all he'd have to do is stop calling and he's not. I have spent a lot of years being very independant and in control. I like this change of dynamics, but at the same time, it is a learning curve. I'm a pretty low-maintenance chick...I don't need or even really like the mushy crap, or the flowers, or the romantic schtuff. Some of the most heartwarming moments I've had in these past 7 months are when he's called and it's obvious it's been a challenge. Like when he couldn't get a call out from his training centre and had to walk 1/4 mile to get to the phone. Or when he called from his daughter's birthday party because he knew I hadn't been feeling great. Him saying tonight that he missed me more than he ever though possible will have me walking on the clouds for days. It's a pretty fun ride!

But note to self: Do not start googling camp names or casualty lists. Gotta stop it - it's like a DRUG!