May 18, 2005
Defining love...

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.
In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.
You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.
You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.
Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.
Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.
You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.
In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

Ok, it's a bit of a cheezy quiz and has some bizarre questions, but interesting all the same.

Since I've been gushing all day, I just have to say I'm having some pretty strong and deep feelings for NavyBoy these days. When I first met him, I had so many reasons why this would not and should not work. I told myself this was just a strong friendship. A friendship with benefits. Yeah, nice try. It has now been 10 months, and I'm now so deeply into this, I am now fully out of control. Scares the freakin' hell out of me. For the longest time, I promised never to trust again, nor to fall in love. But I'm there. So is he. If I could just get the little devil in my head to stop screaming warnings, I would be fine.

I get so nervous about saying the L-word. He's said it, but I somehow can't find myself able to voice the words. Feel them? 110%! Type them. Sure. Easily. But it's like I have this block from painful experiences that says if I say it, then the whole thing will go downhill. Luckily, he knows I'm struggling and understands my difficulty and has said he knows when the time is right, I will be able to. It's getting closer every day though. He told me to check the lyrics out for 'Goodbye Girl' by Bread. (They're below...makes me very emotional reading them...)

While I can't say a lot about what he's doing, Todd has now been transferred to a new group. This place is much smaller than before, but will allow him to eventually work into a civilian job close to me. I knew that he was contemplating the move and while I loved the idea, I was very mellow about it to him. I wanted him to make the decision on his own, and well, he did. We are now in a phase of him being able to call me every day. I had always hoped it would come to this but finding now it's a double edged sword. Those phonecalls have become such lifelines for both of us. They make our days better and when we don't get to talk, we both find ourselves antzy and withdrawn. Who knew that I could get to the point that missing him would become a physical pain?


All your life you've waited for love to come and stay
And now that I have found you, you must not slip away
I know it's hard believin' the words you've heard before
But darlin' you must trust them just once more...
'cause ma babyGoodbye doesn't mean forever
Let me tell you goodbye doesn't meanwe'll never be together again
If you wake up and I'm not there, I won't be long away
'Cause the things you do my Goodbye Girl
Will bring me back to you>.
I know that you've been taken, afraid to hurt again
You fight the love you feel for me instead of givin' in
But I can wait forever, a-helpin' you to see

That I was meant for you and you for me..
so remember Goodbye doesn't mean forever
Let me tell you goodbye doesn't mean
we'll never be together again
Though we may be so far apart you still will have my heart
So forget your past my Goodbye Girl'
Cause now you're home at last.

Vancouver, British Columbia
A patriotic Canadian full of visions of a better Canada, random thoughts and a lot of hot air. Who am I? A struggling writer and photographer, who looks forward to a better Canada. I read. A lot. I learn. A lot. I push myself. A lot. The world is a small place, and getting smaller every day. I'm proud to have friends in every corner of the earth, and abide by the old adage that there are no strangers, only friends we haven't met yet.
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